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Best part? The hustle’s ancient—oldest job, they say. Found this nutty fact: in Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out, like some OG marketing trick. Hilarious, right? Picture me strollin up, all, “Greetings, human, nice wig,” and she’s like, “Fuck off, ET.” I’d tip her anyway—good hustle deserves respect.
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So, I sit down, sipping my drink, and this old bloke comes up to me. He’s like, “You know, back in my day, we didn’t have fancy coffee.” I’m trying to be polite, but I’m also thinking, “Mate, it’s just coffee.” He starts telling me about the good ol’ days, and I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Can I just enjoy my drink in peace?”
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